The Scarf
by lee-kins
Summary: Hakkai. Christmas. And a scarf.


Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki

Note: It's kind of mushy. All that was missing was Linus toddling in with his blanket asking for lights.

* * *

**The Scarf**

It started with the sprig of evergreen tied around Hakkuryu's neck. Then it was cocoa powder and peppermints added to the shopping list. Then humming while cooking and whistling while driving. Finally, he broke out the scarf with the holly embroidered on it.

"I can't believe you packed that thing," Gojyo said as Hakkai wrapped the scarf around his neck.

"Why?" Hakkai asked, eyes wide. He held the end of the scarf closer to his nose and studied the embroidery. "I rather like it."

" 'Kai." That was all Gojyo said in reply. It wasn't what he said that was to serve as his friend's answer, it was how he said it. The tone of voice said, "Not only is that thing hideous and ridiculous, it makes you look gay."

Hakkai shrugged his shoulders. "Well it keeps me warm."

Gojyo shrugged his shoulders too. "Whatever you say, dude."

At that moment Goku threw open the door to their room.

"Are you ready to go, Hakkai?" he said. The monkey was practically jumping out of his skin. "I want more of those peppermint things you buy!" Hakkai let out a quiet chuckle.

"Yes, Goku, I'm ready now." A huge smile lit up Goku's face and he dashed out of the room and down the hall, assuming Hakkai would follow. As Hakkai slipped Sanzo's Goldcard into his back pocket, Gojyo tapped him on the shoulder. The redhead handed him some money.

"What's this for?" Hakkai asked, eyeing it suspiciously. He had told Gojyo once that he would not buy him liquor and cigarettes using the Goldcard, so if he wanted them he'd just have to afford them himself. The demon only presumed that's what this cash was for.

"While you're out, buy yourself a new scarf," Gojyo said, laughing. " Cause I don't wanna be seen around with a guy wearing holly around his neck." Hakkai narrowed his eyes and handed the money back to Gojyo.

"While I appreciate the offer, no thank you." Jaw locked, Hakkai left the room stiffly, fists tightly clenched at his sides. Gojyo just raised an eyebrow before he dug his cigarettes out of his pocket and left the room himself, in search of his usual activities.

-x-x-x-x-

Hakkai let out a sigh in the form of a large puff of vapor into the cold air. The town they were in was particularly beautiful, especially at this time of the year. Snow covered everything with a thin blanket of white. Goku was running ahead, scouting out all the food stands, as always. It brought a genuine smile to Hakkai's face. The youth had long since gotten over his fear of the snow. Hakkai wished he could be that resilient.

Suddenly, something caught Hakkai's attention out of the corner of his eye. It was a large stand full of trinkets of every kind. An amused expression settled on his face as he decided to look and see what was there.

"Why hello there, young man," the keeper of the stand said. He seemed like a kind old man, short and bald with a warm smile that caused his eyes to close. "Did you see something you liked?"

"Oh, nothing specific. The stand just caught my attention," Hakkai answered, with a warm smile of his own. The old man nodded and let Hakkai browse. Green eyes traveled over a wide variety of little gifts. _Gifts!_ thought Hakkai. _That's right, I haven't gotten any yet._ Looking over his shoulder to make sure that Goku was nowhere to be seen, he set to his task of choosing just the right things.

-x-x-x-x-

An hour later Goku came bounding up the street, a meat bun in each hand. "Hakkai! Hakkai!" he cried as he approached. "You've gotta go to this meat bun stand. They have everything there! And it's all on sale! Buy a meat bun, get one half price. Say, Hakkai. Whatcha got there?" The monkey's expression sobered as he eyed the paper bag Hakkai was clutching possessively to his chest.

"Oh, it's nothing, Goku," the demon lied, sheepishly. "Just a few extra supplies I think we'll end up needing."

"Oh." In the blink of an eye, Goku's energy returned. He shoved one meat bun in his mouth to free up a hand, and then grabbed hold of Hakkai's sleeve. "C'mon, Hakkai!" he mumbled around the meat bun. "Let's go!"

-x-x-x-x-

Goku ran into the inn ahead of Hakkai. He immediately found Sanzo and Gojyo sitting in the restaurant, each smoking. Sanzo was reading the paper, as usual, and Gojyo was eyeing the barmaid, also as usual. Beaming, Goku dropped a bag full of meat buns in Sanzo's lap. As he chatted on about how he and Hakkai bought 20 for the price of 15, Hakkai slipped past and up to their rooms.

He balanced the bags of supplies (and "supplies") as he searched for the key to his designated room. Finally finding it, he danced around the edge of the door and, once inside, closed it with his foot. He dropped the bags on the bed with a sigh. The sound of rustling wings brought his attention to the window.

"I'm sorry, Hakkuryu, did I wake you?" he asked, smiling. The little white dragon yawned and stretched his wings before gliding over to sit on his master's shoulder.

Scratching Hakkuryu under the chin, Hakkai surveyed the items that had fallen out of the bags. "What do you think, boy?" he said, turning his head. He met his dragon, nose to little white snout. "Do you think they'll like it?" Hakkuryu closed his eyes as he chirped happily, reassuring his friend.

Suddenly a loud knock came to the door. Wide green eyes stared into tiny red ones. Quickly, Hakkai pulled the thin blanket on the bed over halfway to cover the supplies. The movement had upset Hakkuryu and the dragon flew back to the window.

"Come in," Hakkai said, the slight panic of almost revealing a secret in his voice. Gojyo poked his head into the room. He noticed Hakkai's eyes narrow as he entered.

"Uhh, Goku and I are hungry and Sanzo said we can't order until everyone is down there," Gojyo said awkwardly. "So come on an join us."

Hakkai nodded. "I'll be right down." Gojyo returned the nod and quietly left the room.

After hearing the door click behind the half breed, Hakkai let out a sigh of relief. "That was a close one," he laughed as his dragon flew back to him. With Hakkuryu perched comfortably on his shoulder, Hakkai took one last look at the gifts hidden on the bed, and left the room.

-x-x-x-x-

Gojyo stamped his cigarette out on the knotted wood of the table. Dinner was over, except for Goku licking the plates one last time. Gods forbid there was even a speck of food left on them. Letting out a labored sigh, the half breed's eyes scanned his companions. Goku had the plates in front of his face. Sanzo had the paper in front of his face. Hakkai… Hakkai had excused himself from the table a while ago, saying he was going to organize their supplies or something.

_Man, I really hope he didn't take that crack about his scarf too hard_, Gojyo thought, noticing that Hakkai had been acting weird all through dinner. He was distant, almost anxious. Running a hand through his hair, Gojyo decided he'd better go and find his friend.

-x-x-x-x-

Hakkai stood outside, leaning against the face of the inn. He was bundled up with the holly scarf around his neck. The night was especially dark and the moon was full and bright. The demon watched the snow fall and gently layer itself over everything in sight. Closing his eyes he let out a deep breath and tucked his hands into his pockets. He had to steady his nerves.

"Hey man," he heard from behind him. Hakkai opened his eyes and looked to his left. Gojyo was stepping out of the inn, pulling his jacket over his shoulders.

"Hey," Hakkai replied. He closed his eyes again and rested his head back against the building.

Gojyo took out a cigarette and lit it before talking.

"Look," he started. He leaned against the inn next to Hakkai and let out some nervous laughter. "You're not actually mad at me for what I said before, are you? About the scarf."

Hakkai let out nervous laughter of his own. He hung his head and did not meet his friend's eyes.

"Kanan made me this scarf," he replied softly. "It was before we moved in together; we were still in the orphanage. She said that it looked like I could use something to keep me warm, because I looked so cold an angry all the time. It was the first Christmas gift I ever received."

Gojyo winced and bit down on his cigarette. "Shit, Hakkai. Why didn't you just tell me that?"

Hakkai smiled sadly. "I guess I thought you'd think I was being silly, holding on to something like this for so long." He lifted the holly embroidery to his eyes as he did earlier in the day. "I'll admit, it has seen some better days. But I guess it's sort of like a security blanket. It's the last remnant of her that I have to hold on to, you know?"

Gojyo nodded. "I'm really sorry," he mumbled. "If I'd known I…"

"Don't worry about it." Hakkai's voice seemed stronger. Gojyo looked over to see his friend smiling from ear to ear. "Especially not tonight. Let's go inside. I have surprise for you guys."

Hakkai led the way back into the inn, with Gojyo close behind.

-x-x-x-x-

All four travelers gathered in Hakkai's room. On the table in the center he had a veritable mini feast set up. Goku's eyes danced over the cookies and hot cocoa. Hakkuryu was curled up on the bed, so bedecked in evergreen he looked like a little wreath. Underneath the table were three little wrapped boxes.

"Woah, Hakkai, is this all for us!" Goku cried.

"Of course it is," Hakkai answered through a smile.

Sanzo's eye twitched. "Is this what you've been spending my good money on?"

"Lighten up," Gojyo sneered. "Even Mr. Stick-up-the-ass should be able to appreciate a little holiday cheer."

"Holiday cheer?" Goku asked. "What does that mean? Hakkai, what's all this for, anyway?"

"Well, it's December 24th, Goku," Hakkai answered. "It's Christmas Eve!"

"Christmas Eve?" Goku asked, confused. "But I thought—."

"Hakkai's Catholic, you stupid monkey," Sanzo interrupted. "It's a Christian holiday." Sanzo turned to Hakkai. "Tch, I knew you were acting weird lately."

There was a little stretch of silence. Hakkai clapped his hands together anxiously to break the tension.

"Ok, so, who wants some cocoa?" he asked.

"Oh me! Me!" cried Goku.

"Sure. Hit me," said Gojyo.

Sanzo only grunted. Hakkai took that particular grunt as a yes.

After pouring four mugs of cocoa, Hakkai settled on the floor, leaning against the bed. Hakkuryu stretched out and nuzzled his master's ear until the demon lifted the mug so the little dragon could have a sip. As everyone was enjoying the cocoa and cookies, Hakkai eyed the wrapped boxes. He placed his mug on the floor (where Hakkuryu followed) and reached out for them. He gathered them into his lap.

Hakkai cleared his throat. "In the spirit of Christmas, I've gotten you each a little something. It isn't much really, but—"

" 'Kai, you really didn't have to do that," Gojyo said.

"I know. But I wanted to." With that, Hakkai passed out the little boxes. "Go on. Open them."

Slowly, and somewhat hesitantly, they each opened their gift. Gojyo unwrapped a deck of hand painted playing cards.

"Those are to replace the deck that Goku threw out of the jeep," Hakkai explained.

"These are incredible," Gojyo said. He turned to Goku. "You even think about chucking these out of the car it'll be your ass, chimp."

"Hey, maybe if you don't cheat next time we play I won't throw them out!" Goku cried in defense.

"Why you – I didn't cheat! You've gotta learn to lose with dignity."

"What would you know about dignity, you pervy water sprite?"

"What was that!"

A gunshot ran out. Gojyo and Goku froze instantly. Only their eyes moved, and they slowly panned over the room and rested on a very irate Sanzo. Hakkai's smile never faltered and he turned his attention to the priest.

"Sanzo, why don't you open your gift?"

Sanzo let out an irritated sigh as he ripped through the paper. Upon opening the box, he found an odd bundle of what looked like simple paper. He blinked at it.

"Oh, here!" Hakkai offered. He reached over and took the paper from Sanzo. With a flick of the wrist, the paper snapped open. Hakkai held in his hand a brand new white paper fan. "Your old one was starting to look a little worn out."

Sanzo's eyes twitched, and something akin to a smirk started to form on his face. Then Genjo Sanzo did something they rarely ever knew Genjo Sanzo to do: he started laughing.

"What'dja get 'im that for!" Gojyo and Goku cried in unison. Hakkai could only beam at a job well done.

All that was left was Goku's gift. "Go on, Goku," Hakkai urged. "It's your turn."

Goku's eyes got big and he tore into his gift. Then he looked confused. He held up a large block of a white something.

"Uhh… Hakkai. What is it?" Goku asked.

"Taste it," Hakkai urged. Goku tentatively stuck out his tongue and licked it. His face lit up.

"Oh man you got me that peppermint stuff! And a whole lot of it too! But I thought it was supposed to have red stripes on it."

"That's only food coloring. Now listen, Goku, I bought all that I could find for you, but that isn't an infinite supply. Once you finish it, there's no more until next year. So you have to make it last."

"I think you're askin' for a Christmas miracle, Hakkai," Gojyo muttered under his breath.

Hakkai rested back against the bed. _Maybe I am_, he thought with a smile.

"Hakkai, thank you!" Goku cried. "This is awesome!"

"Yeah man," Gojyo agreed. "Thanks."

Sanzo only grunted again. Hakkai took this particular grunt as a thank you.

"If eating cookies and getting presents is what this Christmas thing is all about, sign me up every year!" Goku suddenly chimed.

Hakkai laughed. Gojyo's eye twitched a little. Sanzo tried out his new gift and smacked Goku upside the head.

"You stupid monkey," he grumbled.

"That's not what Christmas is about," Gojyo replied.

Goku rubbed his head. "Then what is it about?" he whined.

"Appreciation," Hakkai answered simply. "It's about appreciating who you're with and what you have. It's also about the peace that comes with knowing you've _been_ appreciated. Giving gifts and eating cookies are just ways of showing others how grateful you are. It's a way of saying thank you."

"But you can say thank you any time," Goku protested. "Why does it have to be some big special… thing?"

"That's true, Goku. People can say thank you anytime. But they don't. So they pause once a year to do it. They say thank you, and they want to give other people reasons to say thank you as well. Christmas is about giving everyone something to appreciate."

"I don't get it."

Gojyo ran a tired hand over his face. "That's because you're a stupid chimp," he groaned.

Sanzo finally stood up, annoyed. "I'm getting tired of listening to this shit," he stated. "I'm going to sleep."

"I still don't get it though!" Goku whimpered. He quickly got up and followed Sanzo from the room. "C'mon Sanzo. Explain it to me. C'mon. Please? C'mon Sanzo. Sanzo!"

Hakkai chuckled as they left. "I don't think Sanzo can exactly explain what Christmas means," he said. "I guess I didn't do that great of a job either, though."

"Nah," Gojyo replied. "Goku's just too empty headed to get it. I, for one, liked your definition."

Hakkai scratched Hakkuryu's neck absentmindedly. "Thank you."

"No, 'Kai. Thank you." Gojyo raised his mug in a mock toast and then downed the last swig of cocoa. "This was amazing, man. And with that, I'm gonna go to bed." Gojyo stood and gave Hakkai a playful slap on the shoulder before leaving.

After the door closed, Hakkai looked down at Hakkuryu. He picked his pet up and gave the dragon a little squeeze.

"Merry Christmas, Hakkuryu," he said. The dragon chirped in reply. Setting him down on the bed, Hakkai then proceeded to clean up the mess they had made.

-x-x-x-x-

The next day Hakkai met everyone bright and early in the inn's restaurant. He was smiling, as usual, but it seemed deeper, somehow. He had his scarf with the holly on it tied proudly around his neck.

"Good morning everyone," he said, sipping his cup of tea. "Merry Christmas."

He was met with a muddy combination of "Tch, whatever," "Yeah, you too, man," and "Where's breakfast?"

The waitress came quickly and took their orders. Breakfast went as usual, with the same yelling, fighting, and gun shots as always. Hakkai took a deep breath. To calm his nerves, he looked out the window. A heavy snow was falling. _A white Christmas!_ Hakkai thought. _It will be a good day, today._

-x-x-x-x-

With all their supplied securely packed into the jeep, the group made their way out of the town they were staying in. Along the way, they passed the stand where Hakkai bought their Christmas gifts. Or at least, they passed a pile of ashes where the stand once was.

Hakkai slammed on the brakes, causing everyone to lurch forward.

"What the fuck, Hakkai?" Gojyo hollered. The demon quickly jumped out of the jeep and ran to the ashes.

The old man who ran the stand was curled up on the ground, staring at the ruins. Hakkai went up to him and knelt in front of him.

"What happened here?" he asked. The old man's eyes were wide. He couldn't take them away from his former stand.

"Arson," someone nearby said. "Over night."

Hakkai put a hand on the man's shoulder. "Are you all right?"

"That… that stand was my life," the old man whispered. "What am I going to do now? I have nothing."

"Hakkai, come on!" Sanzo called from the jeep. "It's too cold for this shit, let's go! This is not our problem!"

Hakkai pointedly ignored Sanzo's order. Letting out a saddened sigh, he thought for a moment. _Sanzo's right,_ he thought. _It is too cold_. Suddenly, Hakkai unwrapped the scarf from around his neck. He then tied it snugly around the old man's.

"There you go," he said, wearing a bright smile. "Now at least you don't have nothing."

The old man's mouth hung agape as Hakkai stood up and walked back to the jeep. He was too stunned to even mutter a thank you.

As Hakkai took his place in the driver's seat again, Gojyo grabbed him by the shoulder.

"Dude!" he said. "I thought Kanan—"

"I know," Hakkai answered. "But he needed it more."

"Hey, Hakkai, did you know that guy?" Goku asked.

"Not exactly, Goku," Hakkai answered as he started the jeep back up.

"Then why'd you give him your scarf?"

"He needed something to appreciate."

In the back seat, Gojyo draped an arm around a somewhat confused Goku's shoulders. "That, monkey, was the meaning of Christmas."


End file.
